stormy--'s Diaryland Diary

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The Day ... blah blah blah. Actually it's been a few weeks of blah blah blah.

Does bleach freeze?

Odd question, I know, but it’s a real concern of mine. See, about two or three weeks ago (maybe even a month) I bought some Clorox bleach at the grocery store. Then I forgot it in my trunk, thought that I had not purchased any, and bought some more my next shopping trip. Well, I found it today. It was hidden behind the duffel bag and quilt that I always keep in my trunk (am I the only person who keeps several changes of clothes and shoes for every occasion/scenario in their trunk?). We’ve had some super cold nights - so cold that the temps have almost reached 0 degrees - and I find myself wondering if bleach actually freezes when it gets below 32 degrees. Or, does it have a different freezing point than water because it’s a chemical?

I’m ecstatic that the plastic bottle is intact. Anyone who lives in climates that can get really cold has probably experienced or has known someone who has experienced a forgotten water bottle or soda can freezing and sometimes even bursting out all over everything. My past experience has less to do with my car (thank goodness!) and instead had to deal with a 12 pack of Diet CF Pepsi in the refrigerator in my garage and temperatures that were in the -15 degrees range. I never realized that aluminum cans could burst open like that. And the inside of my fridge was covered in icy soda. It was a mess!!

Thank goodness my bottle of bleach didn’t burst. And in my car no less! I mean, can you imagine?!! But lets say the bleach did freeze but didn’t burst it’s container. Is it still good for me to use? Or does the extreme cold change its chemical structure? Is it now less effective at disinfecting or possibly even hazardous? Hmm… I’m probably WAY over thinking things here.

So today I had a doctor’s appointment. Actually it was a follow up appointment from an appointment I had last week. For the past several weeks I have been so extremely tired. And it has been way beyond just feeling like I needed a few extra hours of sleep or needed a mental health day just to chill a little. I’m talking an exhaustion so extreme that even dragging my body out of bed in the mornings made me feel like I immediately needed to lay back down. This whole feeling was made even worse when I had my period. And it wasn’t just exhaustion I was experiencing. My heart was also beating really odd and kind of fast at times, I was getting dizzy a lot, and I had this very weird feeling of not being able to catch my breath even though my chest wasn’t congested and I’m wasn’t doing anything physically taxing that would make it harder for me to catch my breath.

Of course the first thing I think is, “Crap. I got the ‘rona.” But that’s a big ole negative on that. The doctor thought it was all because of an iron deficiency and he was right (I’ve had problems with that in the past). Even before my blood work came back he started me on some supplements and I’ve been trying to eat iron rich fruits and veggies. Let me tell you, a bowl of leafy greens and a baked chicken breast holds absolutely no appeal when all you can think about is a pizza loaded with pepperoni, sausage, onions, and extra cheese. But I am feeling a wee bit better. I wish I was feeling a lot better but I realize it probably takes time. I have to go back for more blood work in a few weeks.

I think today’s appointment had less to do with telling me my blood work results and more to do with the fact that this doctor wanted to check up on me. When I made my initial appointment, I couldn’t get an appointment to see my normal doctor that I’ve seen for years. So, I got one with another doctor that shares the office. He’s okay, I guess. He’s younger than my doctor - probably around my age - and he’s very nosy. I don’t know…. I like my doctor and I like knowing what to expect. And I like not having to talk about something that I really don’t want to talk about.

I knew they were going to take some blood, so for my initial appointment I wore a t-shirt and cardigan under my winter coat for easy access to my arm. After three tries with the needle {insert mad face here}, the woman took my blood and then told me to wait until the doctor came back in - which I really thought was odd. Normally I’m good to go after they take my blood. So the doctor came in and wanted to see the arm where the woman drew the blood. But, when I showed him, he wasn’t interested in the band-aid covered puncture marks but instead focused on the large bruise I have on my upper arm that my t-shirt sleeve didn’t quite cover. He was worried that it had just appeared out of nowhere, and I had to very awkwardly tell him that my ex-boyfriend was responsible for it.

It’s not a big deal. I mean, it is. But it’s not a super, SUPER big deal. It could have been worse - and right now I hate the fact that I’ve become one of those people who justifies someone else’s horrific behavior by saying “it could have been worse”. But it could have been. The worst bruises are on my arms where he repeatedly grabbed me and held me tight. The one on my left side is smaller but actually bothers me way worse than the others which is kind of weird.

It’s just the same old crap with Joe. I think what really angers him is that I was technically the one who ended things when I learned what he did instead of him ending things - which was his plan. (Kind of like it was a game that he didn’t quite win and that pisses him off.) And Joe is completely enraged thinking that I’ve moved on with the guy that told me about what Joe did who is now my friend. And then after … Joe left, I didn’t know what to do. I was understandably scared and upset, so I called said friend. Long story short, my friend got into a fight - an actual physical fight - with Joe. We’re talking punches being thrown, tackling each other to the ground, etc…. To make matters worse, my friend told Joe that I was now in fact his girlfriend and ordered Joe to stay away from me. When I heard all of this I was just like, “WHAT???!!” My goal for this whole situation has been to deescalate the madness. And with those few words my friend just added more fuel to the fire.

I really don’t know how my life got so messy. And in a pandemic no less! I swear that I am probably one of the most boring people. You might not believe me but it’s true. How I got here just baffles me.

And then I have the doctor who personally called me (again, weird) to ask me to come in to the doctor’s office to go over my blood work results (which wasn’t anything surprising or overly worrisome so why couldn’t he just tell me on the phone??) who spent the majority of our appointment checking out my bruises again (they look uglier and took on a dark purple color so I think I’m on the mends) and retelling me his spiel about how help is available if I need it and I shouldn’t be afraid to call if I need to.

Ugh. I swear I would bang my head against my keyboard right now in frustration with everyone and everything except for the fact that I have to go back to the doctor’s in a few weeks and I don’t need yet another bruise that I have to explain away. Oh, and on Wednesday I’ll be staying in the city for three days for work. I would push it back but it was already pushed back when we got a whole bunch snow. I just keep thinking if I can just get through this week then maybe next week I’ll take a few days off so I can just recoup. I'm crossing my fingers that I can survive that long.

Hmm.. feeling like I need to listen to Gloria Gaynor's totally kickass song, "I Will Survive" a few dozen times. I'm off to locate my phone....

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8:09 p.m. - 2021-02-08

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